The Gift of Perseverence

In Tim Elmore's blog, "Growing Leaders" on August 19, 2014, he speaks to "Why Adults Render Kids Helpless." Within his post, he states: Like pain, American parents view “struggle” as a negative thing. We have created a world of conveniences, filled with smart phones, microwaves, Internet shopping and online banking. These technological advances aren’t inherently bad, but the subtle message is that struggles are something to be avoided. We want our lives to be as convenient as possible. In fact, we feel entitled to it. 
See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/adults-render-kids-helpless/?utm_source=Master+List+%28Monthly%2C+Weekly%2C+Daily%2C+Events+%26+Offers%29&utm_campaign=98f60767fd-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b8af65516c-98f60767fd-304368465#sthash.45moRdiX.dpuf

As a fellow parent of three Generation iY kids, I find his message important. And I like Tim's distinction between "pain" and struggle." Of course I want my kids not to be in "pain", but "struggle"?...I say bring it on! Why do I want my kids to struggle? Because struggle is a part of daily life. As adults, we all struggle. I struggle to balance my personal and work life. I struggle to get everyone out the door in the morning. I struggle to finish projects by deadlines and to meet all my expectations. Life is tough. Being an adult is tough. Growing up is tough.

But what has made me a successful adult...who despite the challenges, manages to somehow make it all work in at least a semi-reasonable fashion? I believe it in part because I dealt with struggles as a child and no one came to my rescue. I don't mean to imply that I had parents who were not around to help me out. But they didn't rescue me out. I walked to school. I took tough classes. I struggled with friendships that didn't work out well. I climbed trees and scraped my knees. And even then, school was easy and I probably did not struggle enough. In college I found out that my method of working to get an A instead of working to master a topic, began to back fire. Calculus I found out was difficult. Differential Equations even more so. It turned out that to progress with ease, I needed to master material deeply, not just to ace a test. It turned out that an A was not all it was cracked up to be. I wish I had had that struggle earlier.

With that in mind, at Imagine we work to build character along with academics. Perseverance,  courage, responsibility, self-control, and resiliency in the face of failure are all important virtues. The road to good character is paved with struggles. To persevere, one must face difficult challenges. To develop courage, one must face self-doubt. To build responsibility one must be given tasks to complete with a gradual release of supports. To build self-control one must practice patience. To build resiliency one must learn from mistakes. To build character one must handle struggles and learn that success comes through effort and the proverbial "blood, sweat, and tears."

As important adults in the lives of these young people, it is incumbent upon us to present our children with appropriate challenges paired with just the right amount of support and guidance. We must help them develop a "growth mindset" so that they realize that success is dependent upon effort. Struggle and inconvenience should not be avoided. Instead they should be embraced for the valuable life lessons they develop.